Naruto: Ten Idiotic Ways to Die
by DoodleMonstah
Summary: How would have Sakura have felt if she hit him on the head one day just a bit too hard... And caused a life threatening concussion? What if Jiraiya had unwittingly killed Naruto when he threw him off the cliff? What if he had fallen off the hokage monument during his prank? Chapter 1: Death by Sakura. Ranges from serious to ridiculously funny.
1. Chapter 1: Death by Sakura

**-Naruto: Ten Idiotic Ways to Die-**

How would have Sakura have felt if she hit him in the head one day just a bit too hard... And caused a life threatening concussion? What if Jiraiya had unwittingly killed Naruto when he threw him off the cliff? What if he had fallen off the hokage monument during his prank? Chapter 1: Death by Sakura

**_The different stories will range from being completely serious, to being ridiculously funny._**

**-Chapter 1: Death by Sakura-**

(Set after Sasuke left, before Naruto left with Jiriyah)

"HEY SAKURA-CHAAAN!" Naruto exclaimed loudly.

Sakura's eye twitched. She had been fighting with her mom again, and to top it off, Kakashi and Naruto were BOTH late for training. Kakashi being late for training was understandable, but Naruto?

"YOU'RE LATE!" She yelled loudly, bashing him over the head with her fist.

Naruto rubbed his head painfully. "But Sakuraaaa, Kakashi would have been late anyways," he complained.

"IDIOT!" She yelled loudly, smashing his fist against his scull. But this time, she had punched a tiny tad harder than usual, and had punched his head in such a way...

When the dust cleared, Naruto was in the middle of a crater, rubbing his head in pain. Dazed, Naruto could taste something metallic.

After Naruto had not gotten up after a minute passed by, Sakura started panicking, wondering if she had hit Naruto too hard.

"Hey, Naruto... are you OK?" Sakura asked. But her concern was short lived, because only a second later, Naruto got up and plastered a grin on his face.

"Yah, I'm fine Sakura, nothing to worry about, heh, heh!" Naruto exclaimed, rubbing his head and biting his lip in pain. The grin on his face seemed to flicker slightly, as if he were fighting to keep it on his face.

It was then Kakashi arrived, and at this, Sakura pointed at Kakashi and yelled, "YOU'RE LATE, KAKASHI SENSEI!"

Kakashi raised a brow at Naruto, who usually would have yelled the same. But instead Naruto was simply looking down at the floor, rubbing his head painfully.

Kakashi quickly dismissed the absurdity, and said, " Oh? I was stuck on the road of life... There was a chicken there that nearly got run over..."

"DID NOT!" Sakura yelled. Kakashi once again looked at Naruto, expecting him to react similarly, but Naruto just stood there looking down with his hair covering his face.

Kakashi started to talk. "Naru-"

Whatever he was about to say was interrupted by Naruto coughing up blood.

"Naruto?!" Kakashi asked in a panic. Why was Naruto coughing out blood? Was he injured?

"Hehh, hehh, donth worryy imm finne," Naruto said, his words slurring together. "Imm gonnah be hokagge..."

And with that, the edges around Naruto's vision started turning black and with a thunk, Naruto fell to the floor.

"Naruto!" Sakura and Kakashi exclaimed. Kakashi quickly picked up Naruto's body and started running him to the hospital.

But even with Tsunade, Shizune, and Naruto's incredibly fast healing, Naruto ended up dying.

And so, Tsunade lost yet another precious person who's dream was to be hokage. Once again, the blue crystal necklace was returned to her.

Kakashi had lost yet another one of his comrads who he had sworn to protect. He had lost yet another student.

And Sakura had murdered her only teammate left. And so, with only herself to blame, she started to cry uncontrollably. She never became Tsunade's apprentice, no, Tsunade would not even look at Sakura after what she did.

And all of this happened because Sakura had decided it was OK to punch people, as long as their name was Naruto.

**xxXxx**

_**A/N** And that was Chapter One: Death by Sakura._

_Naruto got killed by a cherry blossom._

_Both ridiculous and depressing, I know. _

_But honestly, the way she just hits people (Well, Naruto) is disgusting. I mean, who goes around smashing people's heads like its normal? (Ah, who am I to complain, the sadist half of me thinks it's hilarious...)_

_And the next Chapter will be: Death by _Jiraiya_!_

_So follow, fav, review!_

**^-^ !**

**DOODLEMONSTAH!**


	2. Chapter 2: Death by Jiraiya

Hello! And here is chapter two of **_Ten Idiotic ways to Die_**!

**-Chapter 2: Death by Jiraiya-**

"So, Naruto, have you ever tried to use your 'red' chakra, as you call it?" Jiraiya asked Naruto intently.

Naruto squinted his eyes. Hmm... Think Naruto, think!

After a while of thinking, Naruto grinned and said...

"I forgot!"

Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. This was getting nowhere.

"Oh, wait a second!" Naruto exclaimed. "Each time, I was in a near-death situation!"

Naruto closed his eyes and crossed his arms, nodding wisely.

"Ah, that has to be it!" Jiraiya thought. "In order to reach his 'red' chakra, he has to be in a life threatening position!"

And so, that was when he got his GENIUS idea to throw Naruto off a cliff.

**xxXxx**

As Naruto happily devoured the ramen Jiraiya was treating him, he wondered why Jiraiya was giving him all these nice things.

"Tell me, Naruto," the toad sage was saying, "if you had to do something before you died, what would it be?"

Naruto squinted his eyes and crossed his arms while he thought. "Um... Go on a date with a girl, I geuss..."

Startling the blonde, Jiraiya grabbed his collar and and they started running towards Team Seven's training ground.

"EHH? Where we going, pervy sage?"

"You're going to ask a girl on a date!"

**xxXxx**

Naruto stood nervously in front of Sakura, and looked to the bushes where Jiraiya was giving him a thumbs up and wiggling his eyebrows.

Hesitantly, he asked Sakura, "Eh... Will you go on a date with me, Sakura-chan?"

"NO, YOU PERVERT!

"Oww!"

Rubbing his head, Naruto trudged back to Jiraiya.

"Well, that went well!" Jiraiya commented enthusiastically.

**xxXxx**

"So is this some sort of training?!" Naruto asked excitedly as they stood on a bridge overlooking a huge pit.

"Yep, it's gonna help you use your red chakra," Jiraiya announced.

"Really?! How?!" Naruto was jumping up and down in excitement.

"Like this." And with that, Jiraiya threw Naruto off a cliff.

As Naruto flew through the air, he felt shocked that Jiraiya would do such a thing. Then he realised something.

"AGGHH! IM GONNA DIE!"

Desperately Naruto tried to use chakra to stuck to the walls of the pit, but it was to no avail.

And with a splat, Naruto fell to the bottom.

"Uh... " Jiraiya stared down at the orange splat at the bottom of the pit.

Jiraiya's eye's widened, finally realizing what he had just done.

Jiraiya had just killed his student! Oh no... The hokage was gonna kill him! Aghh... This was bad, this was bad! Not only had he just killed a genin of the hidden leaf, but he had killed the genin of the hidden leaf who was the jinchuuriki! The JINCHUURIKI of all people!

Suddenly a prophecy came to mind. "You will teach a student that will either bring peace or destruction to this world..." And with that, he got a churning feeling in his stomach. What if he had just killed... The chosen one? AWW MAN, THE WORLD's GONNA DIE!

And worst of all... Jiraiya had just killed Minato and Kushina's son! He had destroyed the legacy if the fourth's! He had just killed his godson!

A chill ran down his back.

KUSHINA WAS GONNA KILL HIM!

First the hokage would kill him, and then in the afterlife, then Kushina would kill him, over and over and over again!

He froze, thinking how scary her temper was.

And so, the perverted toad sannin ran away, screaming, "AGGHH! IM GONNA DIE!"

**xxXxx**

_**A/N**__ WAHAHAHA! Naruto's death, number two!_

_Heh heh, good ol' Jiraiya..._

_And to 'guest'... Death by tsunade... Genius, my friend! I'll use it in a later Chapter! :)_

_**Next up: A prank gone wrong!**_

_So follow, fav, review!_

**^-^ !**

**DOODLEMONSTAH!**


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